Oh my goodness - I logged onto Two Peas this morning and discovered I am the Pubster of the Day! Sometimes it's easy to start feeling invisible in such a big crowd of people, so this was such a nice surprise! I need to think of some good RAKs for this evening.

Today was my last Thursday babysitting for Liam and Grace. I've looked forward to seeing them every week and I'm glad Esme's had this chance to socialize with them on a regular basis. We made a special cake today to celebrate the fun we had this summer.

I'm a Pink Lady!!!!!!!!

I didn't think I had much of a chance of making the Design Team at scraptalk.com, but I got the best news today - I am on the team! Yay!

I was just reading on the message board that the owner had made her decisions, and that everyone would hear in the next few days. I checked my email and didn't have any new messages so I was a little bummed. Just a few minutes later my phone rang - it was Deb from scraptalk inviting me to be on the team! Yaaaayyyy!!!

PS All that waiting I was complaining about - it was SO worth it!

I got to swim in the ocean today by myself. My mom, Esme, Charles, and Dylan were all in the vicinity, but I lot to laze around in the cool water and let the waves rock me all by myself. I thought about a tiny shell being washed out to the big ocean and imagined what it would feel like. It was very peaceful.

I really missed my dad today. I almost called him while I was in Groton but I didn't.

I really enjoyed seeing Lisa earlier in the day. She is such a wonderful person. I love how unconditional she is with her love and affection, and how patient she is with children. She was having a rough time taming 3 kids under 7, but she did pretty well.

I was just invited to be a Guest Designer at PurpleSnoodle. I don't know what month yet, but when I get some layouts up I will post a link!

I just finished reading Beloved by Toni Morrison. I read Sula a few years ago and was prepared to dislike Beloved as much as I like that book. I saw a copy while I was babysitting and it was just calling to be picked up so I did. So I read chapter one and then asked Ethan to get it out of the library for me. What a powerful book! I really, really enjoyed it. I heard it was creepy and sad and of course it was both those things, but it went far beyond those elements. It's a story about strong women who are worn out by the terrible circumstances they are placed in, and what happens through 3 generations. I would highly recommend this book!

I feel very sensitive right now. I have a lot going on with important relationships.

Last night I took Esme to Evelyn's house in NH to see the fireworks. Esme had such a wonderful time and I was so glad. Even when I am very depressed, seeing her happy brings me joy. She stayed up super late and never really got cranky either, which was near a miracle.

I can't wait to get working on my Design Team assignments. I can't wait to find out what products I'll be working with and what challenges I'll find!

I had the best time scrapping with Lisa last night! I got to her house at nearly 9 and I stayed til midnight! I got to do this album for Ethan though: A Girl For All Seasons

Whooo-hooo! I got more good news today! I am going to have a scrapbook page published for the first time! I am going to have a Fall page of Esme published in the Joann's Idea Book 2! This is a big accomplishment for me!

I am finally at liberty to say, I made the ScrapZone.dom Design Team! Yaaaayyy! I am soooo excited! Now I just can't wait to find out who the other DT members are.

I love love love that Ethan got me a DVD player for my scrapbooking room for my birthday. He has been very into watching movies lately, so now he just sits down and we watch them together while I get some scrapping done. We watched a couple episodes of Six Feet Under last night and it was such a nice, simple way to spend time together.

On another positive note, Wolfgang is fixing our car for us. We appreciate him so much, and this was sooo generous of him. Now we'll be paying a lot less and know we're not getting ripped off.

I feel like I am dealing with one crisis after another right now. First I start with problems getting a prescription I really need filled, then our car breaks down, etc. I would like one day when I don't have to make any phone calls, don't have to pay out any huge sums of money, etc.

Right now I am lifting my spirits through scrapbooking. I am working on a mini album to give to Liam and Grace at the end of the summer. I'm keeping it pretty simple, but it's coming out pretty cute so far. Here a link to it: Liam and Grace's Album. It's amazing how much better I feel after channeling some of this energy into creativity!

I had the best time at Six Flag with Liam, Grace, Clare, and Esme on Friday. They are so fun and it was exactly what I needed. Liam and Grace are so full of youthful exhuberance and curiosity - I loved watching them get excited about the trip. At one point we were on the highway and Liam said, "I see it! I see it!," and I had to say, "No, that's the city of Sprinfield." OMG these kids crack me up. I love the way they are with Esme too. They are always willing to help so she can take part in the fun.

No announcements yet. The stores got so many entries that they both had to delay their decisions. I think I have a good chance at one of them, but it could be another week before we get word. I hate waiting!

I'm re-reading the Chronicle of Narnia. With the movie due out this Christmas, I wanted to remember all the little details and enjoy them again before seeing it. I just started The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Ethan and I were trying to decide if we should read them in the order they were published or in the chronologial order of the story. I've reached the chapter where all four children go into the wardrobe, and I'm finding it almost as exciting as the first time I read it when I was 8.

I have applied to be on 7 Design Teams in the last month and I was sooo pumped up about applying! But now that the time to sit back and see if I've got a place on any of them has come, I bummed out. The applications made me feel very motivated to scrap - I'd like to get onto one just to have that sense of a deadline to motivate me further. I will be the Guest Designer at ebbcreations.com for the month of October, but I am waiting to hear back from 6 others sites. Two announce on Monday.

Today I realized the 8,582nd reason I love Ethan. He is so wonderful with our nephew! I've loved Dylan since he was born because he is Charles' son, and Charles is my brother. Ethan loves him just because he is Dylan. I love how Ethan gets right down on his level and shows so much genuine affection for him. I am so glad to have such a wonderful husband, who is so generous with his love!

We have Dylan this weekend. It is amazing how different he and Esme are. Part of it is their age (he is 1 yo, 13 months younger than her) but another big part if it is their personalities. He is so fussy! He gets a tiny bump, the kind Esme wouldn't even notice, and he's hysterical. He can't be left alone in a room or he'll scream his little head off. Esme goes in her playroom and closes the door. He is much more easily distracted that she is though - once she gets fixated on something there is no turning her away from it. He is more like baby mood swing - he can be bawling and then 2 seconds later be laughing at a funny face you made. Both kids are very affectionate and I love that about them! Dylan and Esme both give great hugs! Having him here this weekend definitely makes me appreciate that I live with the easy-going child in the family.

Esme and I got to join Ellen, Liam, Grace, Clare, and Stephanie in a swim this afternoon! It felt so good to float around in the water after all the hot days we've been having. I'm feeling a little water logged now but not too bad.

I had my first layout accepted to the Basic Grey Gallery today! It's not as fabulous as getting published or anything, but it's still good so I was happy. Here is a link to it: Esme - Youth

I am so freaking tired. I haven't been sleeping well for weeks and it's really starting to catch up with me. I think I need a day just to get some rest!

I love scrapbooking. It is the perfect hobby for me. I love taking photos of the people I love and then making a creative way to showcase them. I love the supplies used in scrapbooking - ribbon, pretty papers, fabrics, etc. I love the community of scrappers I've found. Most of all I love that I was introduced to scrapbooking by my friend Lisa, and that I met my friend Stephanie through scrapbooking.

I'm really appreciating my friend Janis right now. She knows I have been depressed lately and has been calling to check on me a lot. Also she got me a great birthday present and made a special effort to call me today. She is a very thoughtful person and I love that about her.

Well, it's my birthday. I thought I was going to be spending the day with my two best friends today but that didn't work out. I sat around feeling sorry for myself this morning and then decided to take Esme out for a while. We went and had lunch at Cha Cha Cha and then walked around Noho a bit. I took a few photos of her that came out beautifully. Then we went to the hospital where she was born and visited one of our nurses from our stay. The nurse was excited to see Esme and showed her one of the newborns in the ward now.

I mailed my Memory Makers Masters entry this week. Of course everyone wants to win, but I am hugely proud of myself just for entering. Every year I have talked about entering the big contests (MMM, HOF, PK) but this i the first time I have sat down, worked extra hard on my pages, and sent them in. I even got as far as copying some one year and then lost my nerve. Just preparing and sending the entry was an accomplishment for me. Whether I win or not I am glad I took that step.